This is My Gethsemane

My fellow lecturer was back from Holland for having his summer vacation in Indonesia. I am glad to meet him so I can ask him as many questions as I want about graduate study in the Netherlands. The coming days in this month will be one of the most determining moments in my life. I am looking forward to the final result of my scholarship application this year. The selection committee will contact me anytime if I am to be awarded the scholarship.

I pray to God that I want to pursue graduate study abroad and I want to get back to Indonesia for the sake of my people here, especially the school where I work now. I think a good lecturer must resolve to getting the highest degree in his field for equipping him to be a professional teacher. I have promised him that I'll give my best if he grant me my wish. In all the phases of the scholarship application that I've undertaken, I can see clearly the kindness and mercy of God's hand to me. Many times I faced situations which I thought impossible, yet in the right time God open for me doors which I've never thought of before. So, now all these miraculous steps have been passed and I am waiting for the final result. And what is my response?

Again, this is my Gethsemane. Gethsemane is the place/time where/when man's will confronts with God's will, and Gethsemane demands a decision from the man. God knows my will and I have done my best during all the application processes. Not only that, he has showed me his goodness so many times. Now, I must prepare myself for God's very will for me: I go or not go. How should I act in a Gethsemane? My Lord Jesus has given me the best example that pleased God the Father in the most difficult Gethsemane that determined the eternal fate of all the universe:

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
-John 22:42

Here I am your servant, my Lord, and this is my prayer unto thee:

"Father, if you are willing, please let me go; yet not my will, but yours be done."

This is My Gethsemane.
What is your Gethsemane?

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
-Rome 8:28