The real question for you if you finish reading: Are you a good leader and coach?
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Effective coaching means creating winners, keeping the faith in the thick of turmoil, building momentum, finding tiny glimmers of light (to reinforce) in the midst of darkness, building on the strength that ninety-nine out of a hundred have.
We've learned about coaching from participants in our seminars. Here's what they've said about the characteristics of good coaches:
- Challenges me to do my best.
- Sets a good example.
- Never divulges a confidence.
- Explains the reasons for instructions and procedures.
- Helps me polish my thoughts before I present them to others.
- Is objective about things.
- Lets me make my own decisions.
- Cares about me and how I'm doing.
- Does not seek the limelight.
- Won't let me give up.
- Gives personal guidance and direction, especially when I'm learning something new.
- Is empathetic and understanding.
- Is firm but fair.
- Keeps a results orientation.
- Makes me work out most of my own problems or tough situations, but supports me.
- Lets me know where I stand.
- Listens exceptionally well.
- Doesn't put words to my mouth.
- Is easy to talk to.
- Keeps the promises he or she makes.
- Keeps me focused on the goals ahead.
- Works as hard or harder than anyone else.
- Is humble.
- Is proud of those managers he or she developed.
- Gives credit where credit is due.
- Practices MBWA.
- Never says "I told you so".
- Corrects my performance in private.
- Never flaunts authority.
- Is always straightforward.
- Gives at least a second chance.
- Maintains an Open Door Policy.
- Uses languages that is easy to understand.
- Lets bygones be bygones.
- Inspires loyalty.
- Really wants to hear my ideas, and acts on them.
- Lets me see my own deadlines.
- Celebrates successes.
- Is open and honest.
- Doesn't hide bad news.
- Gives me enough time to prepare for discussion.
- Is enthusiastic.
- Follows through.
- Is patient.
- Wants me to "stretch" my skills.
- Gives me his or her full attention during discussions, won't be distracted.
- Has a sense of humor.
- Handles disagreements privately.
- Reassures me.
- Makes me feel confident.
- Tells me the "whole story".
- Says "we" instead of "I".
- Makes hard work worth it.
- Can communicate annoyance without running wild.
- Is courageous.
- Insists on training.
- Is a stabilizing influence in a crisis.
- Gets everyone involved.
- Wants me to be successful.
- Is optimistic.
- Operates well under pressure, or in a rapidly changing environment.
- Has a reputation for competence with his or her peers.
- Has a good understanding of the job.
- Is tough and tender.
- Believes we can do it.
- Sets attainable milestones.
- Communicates philosophy and values.
- Is perceptive - doesn't require that everything be spelled out.
- Has a strong sense of urgency.
- Preserves the individuality of his or her team members.
- Thinks and operates at a level above what is expected.
- Want to make the organization the best in the industry.
- Is willing to act on intuition; believes feelings are facts.
- Empowers us.
- Is there when we need him or her.
- Enjoys his or her job.
- Likes to spend time with us.
The list has one stunning characteristic: there is absolutely nothing new on it. Leaders want to do all these things. Most get distracted by the technical aspects of their job. They don't get around it. New managers find that time spent doing those things "doesn't feel like work." No leader practices all these traits all the time. What they best do (usually intuitively, because most leadership training is so shoddy) is to realize that these are the "it." Effective leadership is full-time people development. Moreover, it doesn't take an extrovert personality, or special flair or a flashy style, to coach well - it only takes consistent attention and vigilant action. In coaching, the name of the game is execution.
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